The Big Bang Effect

Last night, I dreamt I was about to embark on a daring journey across the Universe. The Universe! Wow, I guess I really do want to get out of here. Ok, apart from my unconscious voicing the evident, the dream didn’t come out of nowhere. Just before hitting the sack, I watched a few episodes from the History Channel’s The Universe – really fascinating stuff. Still, venturing out into the Universe sounds pretty appealing right now… Earth to Juliet (no pun intended) – right now, you are home, indefinitely, dream on!

Needless to say the transition home has been a bit of a shock to my system. I was as far away from comfort as possible and now I am relishing in it. In Thailand, I woke up every morning to the perpetual promise of the mystery of what that day would bring. I loved never knowing what new adventure lurked around the corner. And man did I get my fair dose of it between the concussion, the broken hand, the robbery, the list goes on. I was effectively a walking disaster. In fact, my mother seriously considered shipping me a helmet after the concussion incident. Apart from the shocking fact that helmets do exist in Thailand, that was just pure lunacy. I knew my mother was slightly on the over-protective side, but really? Anyway, maybe she should have sent me that helmet, because my karma progressively deteriorated from that moment on. Towards the end of my time there, I got a worried email from one of my fellow-teacher friends suggesting I invest in a bubble-wrap duffel coat, just in case. (The innovative world of fashion has not failed us, we have a picture to demonstrate that such a coat does in fact exist!)

Turned off from moving to Thailand to teach English? Please don’t be. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. All of those mishaps are what made my experience ... well an experience. According to Merriam-Webster, “experience” is “the fact or state of having been affected by or gaining knowledge through direct observation or participation.” Yes, I was affected, yes I gained knowledge, yes I participated, and yes I most certainly was in a state. A crazy crazy state. After all of that insanity, I was ready for a little comfort.

I went from a place where I had no safety net – oh did I fall, and oh did I get hurt – to the place where my safety net was born. I returned to Larchemont-les-bains (French version for Larchmont – I think it adds a certain je-ne-sais-quoi to the name), where everywhere I go someone will undoubtedly recognize me. I take that back. I shouldn’t flatter myself – I’m not that popular here. My 16-year old sister, however, is. Apparently we look like twins these days. “Wow, you look just like Victoria now.” “No,” I sweetly respond, “she looks like me.” I came first! The other day, my neighbor of 20 years came over for dinner. After a long conversation about the meaning of life, he asked me, “where is Juliet?”

Ok, seriously though, apart from the apparent confusion with my little sister (hey, I guess it’s flattering, it means I look young), people do know me here and it’s not necessarily a good thing. By now, I should be adept at explaining my return home. That is clearly not the case; otherwise I probably would not have started a blog obviously attempting to make some sense of the whole affair. Nevertheless, I have concocted a fairly serious story about applying to grad schools and looking for a job. But despite my respectable story, I still get those perplexed “are-you-sure-you-know-what-you’re-doing-with-your-life” looks, as if there were some other reason for being home I’m desperately trying to keep under wraps.

In all honestly though, the comfort of home, the safety net, is exactly what I needed after being away for so long. I was basking in this thought the other day at my brother’s wine tasting around the corner – yes, still in Larchmont and yes, my little brother has a legitimate job. We’ll get into that one later. Anyway, equipped with my “serious” story, I was actually enjoying chatting with all my parents’ friends – members of my so-called safety net, some of whom have known me since I was a little girl. Out of nowhere, I managed to knock a bottle of wine off the shelf right between my legs. All eyes were on me and my crimson cheeks. (Definitely crashed that party).

At that point, all I wanted to do was disappear into a dark hole… or maybe somewhere into the Universe? – I should really work on that.