5 Best (and Worst!) Things About Moving Back in with Your Parents

I recently wrote this article for excelle.monster.com, which is a networking website for the "career-minded woman." Well, clearly living at home is not doing much for my career, but they seemed to think moving back home was worth hearing about. Please check out the article here. For the uncensored version (apparently my writing is offensive?) keep on reading!:

So you’ve just been laid off. Or maybe you’re a recent graduate who hasn’t found a job yet.

As if joblessness weren’t enough of a blow to your self-esteem, you find yourself with no other choice but to move back home – back to the place you thought you’d managed to escape from forever.

Let’s be honest, moving back home is nothing to brag about, especially if you’ve been independent for a while.

But you take the good with the bad. And there’s plenty of both.

#1 Best: The Price is Right

This one is a no brainer. It’s probably the reason you moved home in the first place (and if it’s not, what’s wrong with you?). Not only is living at home rent-free (at least we hope!), but the perks tend to be hard to turn down. Just bring out those puppy dog eyes, and Daddy usually cannot resist handing out a $20 (or two). I'll admit this one mostly for girls. But seriously, most of the time, parents can’t resist lending a hand.

So when it all gets to be a little too much, think about how much money you’re saving. Even if you’ve been asked to chip in a few hundred dollars a month, it’s a whole lot better than spiraling debt.

#2 Best: Roommates—Better the Devil You Know

We’ve all endured a horrible roommate experience at one point or another. Remember that uncomfortable feeling of not wanting to return to your dorm or apartment for fear of seeing your roommate who’s been hogging your food, trashing the place, or letting her terrifying drug-addict boyfriend all but move in? Not fun.

At least at home, you know what you’re getting yourself into. You’ve known these people your whole life. They may trash your bathroom and steal your clothes, but yelling at them is perfectly acceptable. And maybe this is the chance to reconnect with your baby sister who you last lived with when she was only eight? Moving home is also a chance to reconnect with your family members as an adult.

You may be spending a little too much time with them right now, but when you do move out, you’ll be happy you had this quality time to ground yourself.

#3 Best: Housekeeping? My Mom Does It All!

We’ve all gone through that messy college phase. And perhaps that phase is not quite over? For me, moving back home has brought it back, full force. Why? Because mommy dearest does all the cleaning and laundry, so why bother!? She roams the hallways armed with Windex and the laundry bag to make sure everything is spick and span.

Admittedly, she’s a little intense about the cleanliness. But I’d rather have that than a disgusting pile of dishes or a roach-infested kitchen college-style.

#4: Best: Mom’s Home Cooking

We’ve all craved for that home cooking when far away. Nothing feels more comforting than the aroma of a pot roast simmering in a garlic wine sauce. Well guess what – now I get that every day. And if you’re lucky (like I am), not only is it delicious and free, but it’s also healthy!

Coming home is a chance to start eating right and getting back in shape. No more binging on pizza every night while watching “So You Think You Can Dance” — instead, it’s a sit-down dinner with the fam. Sure, it might get a tad bit annoying as arguments erupt over everything from politics to cleaning the closets, but it sure beats lonely dinners on the couch.

#5 Best: A 24/7 Support System

Speaking of lonely… In college, you were surrounded by your dorm mates. But when you graduated and moved into a little studio in New York City or LA, it was a whole different story.

Move back home and you will never be lonely. ever. again. Your support system is always there, whether you want it or not (and trust me, sometimes I don’t!). Your mom’s nagging might be annoying at times, but enjoy it while you have it. These people love you and will support you no matter what. It's a chance to show them who you really are and test your boundaries on people who for better or worse are sticking around.

#1: Worst: Community Living = Zero Privacy

Ah—the romanticized notion of living en famille. It’s all fine and dandy when your family does things for you, but since when do you have to do things for them!? Come on now. You just got used to your independence, and suddenly you’re coerced into contributing to the family? Did my mom just ask me to do chores? I hardly even know what that means.

Pick up your sister here, buy milk there, drop this letter off on your way to wherever it is you’re going… the list is endless! What ever happened to me time? Even showers — which should guarantee at least a little alone time — don’t when your siblings are pounding on the door demanding urgent use of the bathroom.

#2 Worst: Regression

Moving back home can undo all those years of personal growth — at least temporarily. No matter how old you are, you’ll always be your parents’ baby. And if your parents are anything like mine, you’ll be expected to report to them on your whereabouts (this does not bode well if you are trying to impress a special someone: "Oh hi Daddy, I will be home at midnight). Suddenly you find yourself in the same vicious pattern of immaturity you haven’t been in since high school. Lashing out on your parents after you thought you’d finally reached a mature and civilized relationship with them? Yikes! Parts of your personality that you thought were deeply buried may now be resurfacing.

Soon enough you’ll be on your own again, and your grown-up self will come back. But in the meantime, get used to being 24 going on 14.

#3 Worst: Sibling Rivalry Resurfaces

You thought you were passed fighting with your siblings? That’s kid stuff, right? Wrong. Your annoying siblings are back and the nightmare continues – but worse. Now the little brother whom you used to bully is bigger, taller, and much stronger than you are. The little sister, who was the cutest little baby, is now a bitchy little teenager who only cares about shopping. You really are the only cool one in the household, why doesn't anyone else get that?

Pretty soon, you find yourself throwing cake in your brother’s face. You know you don’t actually care (it was a petty argument!), but you fight for the sake of fighting. Welcome home.

#4 Worst: You Lose Control over the Remote Control

Remember the good old days when you could come home after work and just veg out in front of TV watching your favorite show? Not anymore!

Your father probably refuses to miss his CNN nightly report, your mother insists on watching her Masterpiece theatre program, and your sister is obsessed with “Gossip Girl” (OMG). There goes your must-see TV. Here’s hoping it’s on Hulu!

#5: Worst: Dating Might Be on Hold Until You Move Out

You can probably kiss your dating life goodbye. Despite having to report your whereabouts to your parents while trying to seduce someone (embarrassing!), quite honestly living at home is just not sexy. If you’re really unlucky, you might even have meddling parents or siblings who grab your phone and respond to all incoming text messages. I don’t know about you, but my overprotective brother and father seem hell-bent on keeping my romantic interests away. Sometimes I feel like I’m back in the Middle Ages—how picturesque. And if you're a guy, well this may be even worse for you. You definitely cannot seduce a lady when coming home to "your place" means meeting the intrusive mother in her bathrobe on the very first night.


Turned off by moving back home? It’s not ideal but it won’t be the worst thing that ever happened to you. And you will move out at some point. Do not despair! This may be the chance to deal with that childhood fear you've been in denial of your whole life? Be what it may, coming home has its purpose. So take it for what it’s worth and enjoy the perks. Pretty soon, you’ll be out in the world on your own again, longing for the restful, rent-free days of yore.